In Alexis
Madrigal's response to Zadie Smith he writes, "You get to
determine your level of investment in the digital world around you. You get to
choose the people you listen and talk to. You have control over your data. You
get to define who you are, no matter what your Facebook profile says. All that
is not lost unless we choose to lose it." I couldn't agree more. We are
not defined by our social profiles, but what happens when we Facebook starts to
introduce new social behaviors into our personal lives? For many couples , making a relationship "Facebook official" is as
important a milestone as the first time they utter those three little words.
It's a line item in the relationship progression discussion checklist, on par
with or perhaps even replacing the "are we exclusive" or "are
you my boyfriend/girlfriend" talks. Even if you choose not to link to each
other's profile by naming your significant other, it's a public (and
feed-publicized) statement of commitment. But how did Facebook insert itself
into our most personal relationships like this? As I think my writing this
article makes clear, for me, this isn't even a privacy issue. It's more about
my relationship to the machine, and the scary glimpse I just got of where
design decisions and algorithmic assumptions are heading.
